This Boy Elroy

OMFG WTF!?

Indulge in the afterlife.

For Catholics, Heaven Moves a Step Closer

My favorite part of the above article:

"There are partial indulgences, which reduce purgatorial time by a certain number of days or years, and plenary indulgences, which eliminate all of it. You can get one for yourself, or for someone else, living or dead. You cannot buy one — the church outlawed the sale of indulgences in 1857 — but charitable contributions (read: you give money under the auspices of charity but really you're buying your ticket to eternal salvation!  Loopholes FTW!!), combined with other acts, can help you earn one. There is a limit of one plenary indulgence per sinner per day."

I have some questions:

What about time-share indulgences?  Can you get a group together and split it all up for various weeks at a time? 

What guarantee is there that a Purgatory day is the same as a 24-hour Earth day?  Who do I contact if when I'm in Purgatory this turns out to be an issue?

Can I buy an advance indulgence, or can I get indulgences in bulk at a reduced "charitable contribution?"  For example, If I know I'm going to many sinful things in the future, like...eat shellfish, accidental masturbation during the lenten season even though I gave it up, or accidental contact of the sacrament with my eye-tooth (wooooo!!  CRRRRAAZZZY)?  Can I just mail in an indulgence for each transgression from my indulgence coupon book?

By purchasing an indulgence am I bound to other medieval beliefs like, the earth is flat, the earth is the center of the universe, humans are the awesomest and every resource on the planet is here for us to totally exploit, slavery is a-ok, women are property? 

Brad and I are planning a trip to Rome this summer.  I'll sit down with Pope Benny and bring him my list of questions. 

My Hero

Behold, The Spork. 

Make your own hero

No Words

Out of touch

The New York Times had an article today that contained a quote that infuriated me.  

“That is pretty draconian — $500,000 is not a lot of money, particularly if there is no bonus,” said James F. Reda, founder and managing director of James F. Reda & Associates, a compensation consulting firm. “And you know these companies that are in trouble are not going to pay much of an annual dividend.”

Mr. Reda said only a handful of big companies pay chief executives and other senior executives $500,000 or less in total compensation. He said such limits will make it hard for the companies to recruit and keep executives, most of whom could earn more money at other firms."

So I stopped by Mr. Reda's website and wrote to him what we, the 99% of the workforce that doesn't expect to be paid over $500k a year, know to be true.

Dear Mr. Reda,

On February 4, 2009 I read an article in the New York Times in which you called limiting the pay of executives of companies who receive federal bailout money "draconian - $500,000 is not a lot of money."  My occupation is not in business, and I am not an executive but one thing I know is that $500,000 is a lot of money for 99% of the people in this country, not to mention the people of the world.  

I found your quote to be out of touch and callus given that so many people are losing their jobs on a daily basis in this country, and all over the world, as a result of the poor management and malfeasance of executives who received obscene salaries for many years prior to the economic downturn.  If companies are to survive by the graces of the taxpayers then they need to do so in an economical manner.  One of the hallmarks of a good manager is being fiscally responsible.  I am loath to see how the decision to pay executives tens of millions of dollars off of government assistance is fiscally responsible.  The money from T.A.R.P. is meant to save companies from collapse and to spare the jobs of thousands of people who depend on salaries from these companies.  I cannot fathom why people who have been paid tens of millions of dollars a year for the past ten years would need such a large portion of that money for their annual pay and even have the audacity to use any of it for bonuses.   

If the executives feel that they can get more pay from other companies then they should go to other firms for employment.  The only problem is that I don't see these people as having learned their lesson and the government can only bail out so many companies.  At some point, they're going to run out of places to milk for their multi-million dollar salary requirements.  

Perhaps you, and the executives who expect to make more than half a million dollars a year, have a different perception of the value of a dollar than the rest of us do?  If so, and if $500,000 is such a pittance to you then I urge you to please open your wallet and hand out five of your crispiest Woodrow Wilsons to a family whose income has evaporated and who has only enough money saved up to live on for a month because the executives just couldn't live without a bonus this year.  And if you're feeling extra giving, then I urge you to take another five Woodrow Wilsons out of your wallet and use it to feed hundreds of thousands of people in the third world who are starving and have no running water or medicine.  

The only thing draconian about this situation, Mr. Reda, is that the human race has seen this pattern before, the rich getting richer while the middle class erode into poverty and those who were already in poverty slide into an abyss only to be forgotten.  

I wish you the best of luck in these trying times and I sincerely hope that you don't have to learn the value of a dollar the hard way.  

New obsessions

Have you all seen the show "Damages" on FX yet?  OMG So good.  Brad started watching it on Hulu and we hooked up his macbook to the TV and have been in marathon mode all weekend.  All you need to know is it has Glenn Close as a power hungry litigator queen bitch, don't ask questions, don't even think about resisting, just bow down and worship.  

I remember when I saw the lady Glenn in the musical adaptation of Sunset Boulevard.  I always admire the intensity she brings to ever role she takes on.  I mean, she defined the art of stalking with Fatal Attraction.  

I've also become obsessed with an iPhone app called Brushes.  I'm no where near as talented as this chap, but I love to doodle anyway.  I've combined my love of doodling with my new found obsession for "Damages" and created portraits of some of the main characters.  

Ellen
Arthur Patty

Sometimes

Sometimes, when I'm peeing at the urinal I freak out because I start to wonder if I'm really peeing at the urinal, or if I'm really sitting at my desk, daydreaming about peeing and pissing in my pants. Blogging. Changing the world, one random thought at a time.

Keep your arms and legs inside the teleporter at all times.

Describe to me, if you will...

A friend of a friend is moving to Plano and contacted me for some advice on where to live and what to expect.  This is what I had to say in my opening paragraph.

"West Plano is to Orange County is to Scottsdale, it's all the same concept; walled up villages meant to make the residents feel as if they're in a cozy small town environment but the reality is a black hole of isolation, consumerism, alcoholism, drug abuse, homophobia, closeted homosexual desire, and secret thoughts of infanticide.  Of course this is all masked with artificial over-the-top displays of devoutness to a god who loves Chili's and leases on Mercedes Benz's as much as his "people" do."

Who really cares about the "2%" anyway?

Here he is. Rick Warren urging people to support Proposition 8 because gay people apparently only make up "2% of the population" and we shouldn't allow 2% of the population their civil rights because it would change 5000 year old tradition.

Hmm. Slavery was a a tradition for thousands of years. Slaves weren't the majority in the US and yet they were given their freedom in spite of the fact that slavery was seen as perfectly normal for thousands of years. 

This is the person who will be speaking at Barack Obama's inauguration.  Great way to usher in this new era of change. 

There is no good argument to be heard against gay marriage and the only thing these people cling to are draconian biblical stories.  Their reasons for being against it are borne purely out of ignorance and hate.  I repeat, Rick Warren is a bigot and it's a disgrace that he'd be allowed to speak and any presidential inauguration, let alone this one.  What's next?  Anita Bryant singing the national anthem?