A friend of a friend is moving to Plano and contacted me for some advice on where to live and what to expect. This is what I had to say in my opening paragraph.
"West Plano is to Orange County is to Scottsdale, it's all the same
concept; walled up villages meant to make the residents feel as if
they're in a cozy small town environment but the reality is a black
hole of isolation, consumerism, alcoholism, drug abuse, homophobia,
closeted homosexual desire, and secret thoughts of infanticide. Of
course this is all masked with artificial over-the-top displays of
devoutness to a god who loves Chili's and leases on Mercedes Benz's as
much as his "people" do."
And just what is wrong with secret thoughts of infanticide?
Posted by: Chris | January 13, 2009 at 03:25 PM
Uhmmm...I think Plano is a FAR cry from the OC or Scottsdale.
There's no palm trees.
Posted by: Darin | January 13, 2009 at 11:42 PM
Don't forget the soul-searing heat, and at least there's some good Mexican food.
Posted by: jeremy | January 14, 2009 at 02:08 AM
Hmmm... sounds almost like the setup for a David Lynch flick...
Posted by: Xander | January 14, 2009 at 07:06 AM
I'd say you just about nailed it, at least when it comes to describing the inhabitants. My sister lives in Temple. Who knew God's people were so filled with rage, hate and over-processed food product?
Posted by: Ray Ray | January 14, 2009 at 09:55 AM
Not to mention, just next door to Southfork Ranch.
Posted by: StevieB | January 14, 2009 at 11:05 AM
You're going to scare him off! But I'm glad you spoke the truth. It's always good to be realistic about a big move like that.
Posted by: Heather M | January 14, 2009 at 06:55 PM
I am sorry for the friend of a friend. But, then, that probably describes the majority of places in the USA.
Posted by: GayProf | January 15, 2009 at 02:06 PM
there's an interesting preface to a novel in that paragraph...
Posted by: kyle | January 15, 2009 at 08:54 PM
You forgot "and very, very, VERY white."
Seriously, everything in that whole Plano/Garland/Richardson area seems like it was either lifted directly from or was the inspiration for "Stuff White People Like."
Posted by: Chris | January 16, 2009 at 11:08 PM
that about sums it up.
Posted by: Digger | January 20, 2009 at 02:16 AM
Wasn't it also #1 in teen suicide not long ago?
Posted by: CJ | January 22, 2009 at 03:52 PM
You are right, Plano is the pits! Now, Frisco(TX) however is the most magical place on Earth (Where Dreams can come true)! HaHa
Posted by: Jeremy | January 23, 2009 at 07:14 AM
Just tell your friend to... Go to / or stay in SF. They have an annual pillow fight on Valentine's Day and Zombie Day. What more can you want? I miss that city.
Hi to Brad!!!
-T
Posted by: Tiffany | January 23, 2009 at 04:01 PM
Now if you could just print that on a t-shirt that I could wear around Dallas.
Posted by: blb | January 25, 2009 at 01:38 PM
Oh, you're being way too kind to Plano! I know, I lived there for 10 years. Talk about suburbia hell!!
Tell your friend to move to downtown/uptown or Oak Lawn in Dallas and commute to work. It's a much better way of life!
Hope all is well in San Fran... :)
Posted by: JiminDallas | January 26, 2009 at 10:04 AM
Oh, you're being way too kind to Plano! I know, I lived there for 10 years. Talk about suburbia hell!!
Tell your friend to move to downtown/uptown or Oak Lawn in Dallas and commute to work. It's a much better way of life!
Hope all is well in San Fran... :)
Posted by: JiminDallas | January 26, 2009 at 10:04 AM
I agree with Jim in Dallas... Oaklawn or Deep Ellum if he/she is straight.
Posted by: Matthew Thompson | January 27, 2009 at 11:30 AM