For Catholics, Heaven Moves a Step Closer
My favorite part of the above article:
"There are partial indulgences, which reduce purgatorial time by a certain number of days or years, and plenary indulgences, which eliminate all of it. You can get one for yourself, or for someone else, living or dead. You cannot buy one — the church outlawed the sale of indulgences in 1857 — but charitable contributions (read: you give money under the auspices of charity but really you're buying your ticket to eternal salvation! Loopholes FTW!!), combined with other acts, can help you earn one. There is a limit of one plenary indulgence per sinner per day."
I have some questions:
What about time-share indulgences? Can you get a group together and split it all up for various weeks at a time?
What guarantee is there that a Purgatory day is the same as a 24-hour Earth day? Who do I contact if when I'm in Purgatory this turns out to be an issue?
Can I buy an advance indulgence, or can I get indulgences in bulk at a reduced "charitable contribution?" For example, If I know I'm going to many sinful things in the future, like...eat shellfish, accidental masturbation during the lenten season even though I gave it up, or accidental contact of the sacrament with my eye-tooth (wooooo!! CRRRRAAZZZY)? Can I just mail in an indulgence for each transgression from my indulgence coupon book?
By purchasing an indulgence am I bound to other medieval beliefs like, the earth is flat, the earth is the center of the universe, humans are the awesomest and every resource on the planet is here for us to totally exploit, slavery is a-ok, women are property?
Brad and I are planning a trip to Rome this summer. I'll sit down with Pope Benny and bring him my list of questions.
I find it amusing that they use the same loophole concerning money as the phony psychics. The "I don't charge for my service, but a charitable contribution is always welcome" line.
Posted by: David | February 09, 2009 at 05:36 PM
If I indulge in gay sex, how much in indulgences should I be paying???
Posted by: homer | February 15, 2009 at 12:47 PM
Catholics! Is there anything they can't do?
Posted by: Ray Ray | February 19, 2009 at 11:48 PM
As someone sent to 12 years i Catholic school, let me tell you that the system is riddled with the ludicrous and the downright stupid.
A couple of years ago, the then Pope declared Limbo to be non-existent after a thousand or more years of teaching that it was where unborn babies went. No word on where those babies are now that Limbo has been ditched--perhaps all in the same celestial dumpster.
No word either about whether we can use the expression "That project is now in Limbo." Maybe we have to say That project is now in an undisclosed safe location--along with Dick Cheney whenever any danger threatened.
Adam--the earth was flat for Catholics until 1957--that's when the ban on Galileo's book and beliefs was finally lifted. I bet some Catholics actually believed the earth inflated from flat to spherical at that time. The Popes' egos had inflated to monstrous proportions at least a millennium and a half earlier.
The selling of indulgences brought us Martin Luther and the Protestant Reformation (the Catholics call it the Protestant Revolt, thereby denying that any reform was necessary).
Homer--I don't think there's enough money in the world. They demand a kind of castration of the gay man--he NEVER engages in any homosexual activity, no matter how "minor", ever again for the rest of his life.
Posted by: Will | July 20, 2009 at 01:04 PM
oh this is an interesting post! my opinion on this is that we should obey each others decision
Posted by: medieval clothing | October 15, 2010 at 07:57 AM